A Secret I’ve Been Keeping (and the Dream that Woke it Up)

For a long time now, I’ve been living a double life.

There is a world I retreat to every day, and a girl named Ava who lives there. I haven't talked much about the book I'm writing—it has felt too new, too private—but last night, my subconscious decided it was time to share a piece of it.

In the draft I’m working on, Ava is struggling. She is in the middle of a hard, complicated journey that tests everything she has. I spend my hours thinking about her burdens and her battles.

But last night, I dreamt of her in a different form.

I saw a white foal, playing free. In the dream, I knew instinctively it was her. I knew its name was Ava.

It was such a stark contrast to the girl I see on the page. While the "story" Ava is weighed down by conflict, this "dream" Ava was pure, light, and entirely unburdened. It felt like my mind was showing me her soul, the part of her she is fighting to protect (or perhaps, the part she is fighting to find again).

I’ve realized that this is why I’m writing this book. Not just to document the struggle, but to see if I can lead Ava back to that sense of freedom I saw in the dream.

I’m finally ready to start sharing this journey with you. It’s messy, and she’s still in the thick of it, but now I know exactly what she’s capable of.